If we were to take a poll of our readers asking, “What’s the one thing you fight about most?”, I would be willing to bet a lot of money that the top three answers would be: Kids, finances, and sex.
I’ve explained here that those issues, like most issues in a marriage, are not a cause of the couple losing their connection. The issues are symptoms of a poor connection.
When you’re fully connected with your spouse, completely on the same page, you won’t argue about those things. When your wires are crossed, the arguments ensue.
For most couples, the lack of connection is only temporary, and they get back on track. For others, typically the ones that don’t work at it, the temporary lack of connection turns into a permanent lack of connection, and we all know where that leads.
Obviously you’re in the former group. You’re reading this because you’re willing to work at it. And sometimes working at it is as simple as talking about it.
Day 13 Challenge – Have a Conversation With Your Spouse
Your challenge for day 13 is to have a deep conversation with your spouse. Be willing to let your guard down, open up, express your thoughts and feelings, AND listen to your spouse.
Since I brought up kids, finances, and sex, pick the topic you’ve struggled with the most recently and talk about it. Here are some questions to get you going:
- What are the key values you want to teach our children?
- What are your dreams for our children?
- Do you think we spend too little, too much, or just the right amount of time with the kids?
- What are your financial goals?
- When it comes to our finances, what is most important to you?
- When it comes to our finances, what is something I can improve on?
- What do I do outside of the bedroom that makes you more attracted to me?
- What do I do that gives you the most sexual pleasure?
- What is something you would like to try sexually?
For The Overachievers
This one’s easy right? Talk about all 3! If you want to go over the top, there are actually 50 of these types of questions here. Work through all of them.
Stopping, taking time for each other, expressing what you want, and finding out what you can do better….sounds like building connection to me.