50 Questions to Ask Your Spouse

One of the many blessings of being married is having a person to share life with and to talk about life with.  It’s a blessing to be able to communicate our thoughts, desires, wishes, hope, dreams, etc… to the person we are sharing life with. And in any healthy marriage, there is good communication.  But for whatever reason, sometimes the conversation just doesn’t seem to flow.

Questions for your spouse

Have you ever been on a date with your spouse and you just can’t get a conversation going?  Maybe you’re tired, your brain can’t come up with anything to talk about? Or maybe you’re just not where you want to be in your marriage and you’re struggling with your marriage.  Here is a list of 50 questions you can ask your spouse to not only start a good conversation but to learn more about each other.

The questions are grouped into different areas of life that we all typically try to keep in balance. You don’t have to cover all of these in one setting.  Pick 3, 4, or 5 to use the next time you’re out and see where the conversation takes you.


  • Do you truly enjoy your work?
  • What type of work sounds exciting to you?
  • If you could do anything, what would it be?
  • What frustrates you most about your work?


  • What are your financial goals?
  • How do you think we’re doing?
  • How can we improve?
  • When it comes to our finances, what is most important to you?
  • What would you do if we had more money than we could spend?
  • When it comes to our finances, what is something I can improve on?


  • How would you like to improve your health?
  • How can I help?
  • What areas of our health (diet, exercise) should we improve on?
  • What is your favorite way to exercise?
  • With regards to your health, what are you most concerned with?

Family / Friends

  • What are the key values you want to teach our children?
  • What are your dreams for our children?
  • Do you think we spend too little, too much, or just the right amount of time with the kids?
  • Which of our friends do you like being around most? Why?
  • Who would you like to get to know more? Why?
  • How do you wish our family (immediate and extended) was different?
  • What do you think our kids’ love languages are?

Marriage / Romance

  • What is something I can improve on to make our marriage better?
  • What is your favorite thing about our marriage?
  • How do our differences compliment each other?
  • Tell me about your love language.
  • How can I do a better job of speaking it?
  • What do I do to express love that has no effect? (How do I speak the wrong love language?)
  • What do you like most about me?
  • What is one thing you wish you could change about me?
  • List 5 things that I can do for you that would really help you out.
  • What do I do that gives you the most sexual pleasure?
  • What other things give you the most sexual pleasure?
  • What is something you would like to try sexually?

Personal Growth / Spirituality

  • What is something new that you would like to try?
  • What is your favorite thing about yourself?
  • Spiritually speaking, what is most important to you?
  • What is one thing you wish you could change about yourself?
  • What is your biggest fear now?
  • When do you feel happiest?
  • Based on my actions, what do I place the most value on in my life?
  • What is something you need to improve on spiritually?
  • What do you think about “insert political issue here”?

Fun and Recreation

  • What do you want to do when we retire?
  • What do we need to do to get there?
  • What are your dreams?
  • What is something that you want to do in the future?
  • What activity do you enjoy doing most?
  • Where would you most like to travel?
  • What is your favorite activity do to with our family?

Physical Environment

  • Where do you want us to be in 5 years? (physically, financially, spiritually, etc…)
  • Do you like where we live?
  • If we could live anywhere, where would it be?
  • What would you change about our house?
  • What do you love most about where we live? (Home, City, State)
  • What do you like least about where we live? (Home, City, State)

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