Take action. Take it seriously. Make it a priority. Actively love and pursue your spouse. Do marriage.
It started as a casual conversation a few years ago between my husband, Troy, and me. How do you best celebrate a milestone birthday? For me, I knew I wanted to travel. “Let’s go to Paris!” I said, almost as a joke.
Troy didn’t take it as a joke. So, off and on for those few years, we would briefly bring it up and dream about how it would be.
We recently wrote a guest post at Husband Revolution. I know many of you have recently subscribed to our blog after reading that post (Thank You!).
For those that haven’t had a chance to read it, here’s a link to the post.
When you’ve worn thin, your world looks different. You don’t see things as clearly. You feel helpless, frustrated and sad. You look around and (though it’s not necessarily true) everyone else is happy. You’re not.
I noticed when talking with my close group of friends that all of us are struggling with something. One friend is questioning her relationship with her husband, another is on the brink of divorce, one is struggling so hard financially, and another is frightened and waiting on the results of a medical procedure. I also work one-on-one with a wife whose husband is fighting an addiction to porn. The attacks come in different areas of our lives.
To clean or not to clean. Ah. That is the issue that appears on Facebook in the form of memes and quotes almost daily, posted by moms across the world. Do I clean or do I spend time with my kids?
I spend time with my kids every day. I also clean my house every day. I actually don’t mind cleaning. On some days, I would go as far as to say that I actually enjoy it. “How can she do that?” you may ask.
The 14 Days of Connecting With Your Spouse challenges are complete, but we wanted to follow up with one more post to summarize everything. If you missed a challenge or if you want to go back to a previous challenge, links to the complete list of challenges are below.
The strongest marriages are the ones where the connection is the strongest. So, we put these challenges together to give you some ideas for working on your connection.
- If you want to create a better marriage, work on your connection.
- If you have relationship problems, work on your connection.
- If you want better communication in your marriage, work on your connection.
We hope these 14 days have been helpful to you, and we hope you’re connection has greatly improved. As a matter of fact, do you remember the “For The Overachievers” section of Day 1? If you completed that, you wrote down a few sentences about how your marriage was doing at the time and you answered these questions:
- On a scale of 1-10, what is your “connection” level with your spouse today?
- On a scale of 1-10, how good are you doing at loving your spouse?
- On a scale of 1-10, how good is your spouse doing at loving you?
If you completed that part of the challenge, answer these again and compare them to your answers 14 days ago. Let us know how you did!
If you got something out of these challenges and would like to show your appreciation, would you be willing to help us out?
We’re always interested in knowing how we’re doing and how we can improve. Will you take less than 5 minutes and take this survey? It’s anonymous and it will really help us out. If you fill it out, you’ll get a link at the end of the survey for a printable summary of all of the challenges. (Hurry! Only the first 100 people will be able to fill out the survey.)
Thank you again for participating, and we sincerely hope you will continue to work on building a stronger connection between you and your spouse.
To make things easy to find, here’s a list of all of the challenges:
- Day 1 – Commit, plan something, assess your relationship.
- Day 2 – Speak your spouse’s love language
- Day 3 – Plan, cook, and eat dinner together
- Day 4 – Exercise together
- Day 4 Bonus – Develop unity through conversation
- Day 5 – Touch
- Day 6 – Bless your home
- Day 7 – Leave a note
- Day 8 – Go out to eat together
- Day 9 – Recreate a date
- Day 10 – Dream with your spouse
- Day 11 – Play together
- Day 12 – Express gratitude toward your spouse
- Day 13 – Have a deep conversation with your spouse
- Day 14 – Sleep naked
This is it, the last challenge of 14 Days of Connecting With Your Spouse. And you know we saved the best for last. You’ve probably been expecting this one.
Did you know that happier couples sleep naked? Wait! Don’t click close. I’m serious. Authors Chrisanna Northrup and Pepper Schwartz surveyed almost 100,000 couples and found that the happiest couples sleep in the nude, trust each other, and have sex three to four times a week.
If we were to take a poll of our readers asking, “What’s the one thing you fight about most?”, I would be willing to bet a lot of money that the top three answers would be: Kids, finances, and sex.
I’ve explained here that those issues, like most issues in a marriage, are not a cause of the couple losing their connection. The issues are symptoms of a poor connection.