14 Days of Connecting With Your Spouse – Day 6

When you think of your home what comes into your mind? Is it chaos, clutter, turbulent? Or is it calm, organized, peaceful?

Home you love

Our homes should be a place of comfort and refuge, a place where we know we can always find peace and relaxation. One way we can work to insure that is to keep our homes clean. I’m not talking white glove inspection clean. I’m talking about a clean where we are comfortable, where we enjoy the space, clean where company can arrive unexpectedly and we aren’t scrambling to toss things under the rug.

A Letter To Our Readers: Looking Back at Our First Year

It’s January 31st, 2015. Tomorrow marks the 1 year anniversary of launching Intentionally Refined. It’s been a very interesting first year, and we thought you might be interested in hearing some of the highlights.

Looking Back Image

Below we will share the biggest things we learned, statistics about what you liked, and what the future holds.

Intentionally Refining Your Home – It’s Not Too Late to Join!

We are wrapping up our first full week of “Intentionally Refining Your Home”. We still have 3 full weeks left to work through this together. It’s not too late to join us! Learn how to break your home up into zones, declutter and get it in shape so it is more easily manageable.

Subscribe here on our page for more information and to join the month-long closed group!

Every Smile is a Direct Achievement

A smile can make all the difference in someone’s day. And my hope is that my smile made a little bit of a difference to the man in the parking lot who scowled at me as I drove by.

Romans 12:18 “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.”

Will you show your love to others – your husband, wife, kids, co-workers, friends, those you encounter on the street – with a smile? It might just be exactly what they need.

(In the cup: Yogi brand tea in Vanilla Spice, a splash of coconut milk and a bit of stevia.)

The Only Thing To Compare Yourself To

“They have such a great marriage.” “I wish I had a husband like that.” “I wish I had everything together like she does.” “I wish I could be successful like him.”

Have you ever found yourself saying something like those statements above? If you’re like everyone else on this planet, I’ll bet, at one time or another, you have. I know I have. Who am I kidding. I know I do.

Simple Little Recipe of the Day – Chocolate Peppermint Bars

It’s possible to make something incredibly delicious and also very healthy for you! The recipe below is gluten, dairy, refined sugar and flour free. It’s filled with the superfood – cacao – and healthy fats – coconut oil, nuts. I tweaked this recipe by adding in some peppermint essential oil, which has been known to help aid in digestion.

Give this a try this holiday season! It will curb your cravings and you will gladly reach for one of these bars instead of the holiday cookies!

Chocolate Peppermint Bars
3/4 cup coconut oil, melted
1/2 cup natural almond butter
1/2 cup raw cacao powder (why cacao instead of cocoa?)
1/4 cup raw local honey
5 drops of peppermint essential oil (you can find it here – click on “shop for products”, then search for peppermint under the “single essential oils”)
splash of pure vanilla extract
1 cup unsweetened, shredded coconut
1 cup chopped nuts (almonds, pistachios, etc.)

Mix together in a bowl all ingredients except the shredded coconut and nuts. Heat this mixture slowly on very low heat until all ingredients are melted.
Stir in the shredded coconut and chopped nuts.
Spread into a lined 8×8 dish and freeze for 15 minutes.
Once hardened, cut into bars. Keep refrigerated.

How To Start Building A Connection In Your Marriage

You want to build a better connection in your marriage. You want more intimacy. You want a stronger marriage. Those are all great wants. The question is, will you do the work that it takes?

Couple Holding Hands

Building a connection in your marriage takes effort. It doesn’t just happen on its own. Most people know that. But most people don’t do anything about it. Life always seems to get in the way.

Are You Really Who You Think You Are?

I absolutely love sailing. There is nothing like turning the engine off, hearing the sound of the wind in the sails, and being out where you can’t see the shore. It’s an experience that can’t be explained.

But close your eyes and imagine yourself out there. Alone. Imagine that it’s just you sitting on the boat in the middle of the sea. There is no one around. It’s just you. You’re not afraid. You know for certain that you’ll be ok.

Now imagine that you’ve been completely stripped of your roles. You’re not a husband, wife, father, mother, employee, employer, etc. You no longer have any roles. It’s just you.

On a scale of 1-10, and with all of your roles gone, what is your opinion of yourself? Be honest. (No one will know your answer.) What do you think of yourself without your roles?

Before you read any further, answer that question. Be honest with yourself.

Once you answer, click the button below to see the results from the first 100 people that answered that question.

Survey Results




The correct answer to the question is 10, but most people don’t get it right. The reason you don’t think you are a 10 is because you define yourself by your roles in life. It’s easy to let that happen because so much in life is tied to those roles.

When you define yourself by your roles, what happens when you fail in your roles? You start thinking less of yourself, but in reality your value hasn’t changed. You’re still a 10.

You realize that you’re a 10, right? No matter what you answered, you are a 10. The reason you’re a 10 is because you’re you! You are unique and special in a way that no one else can ever be.

Your identity is a 10. God created you. How can you not be a 10? When you fail in your role, it means you messed up in that specific area, but it doesn’t mean you’re less as a person.

It is a difficult task, but train yourself to not get caught up in defining yourself by the roles you play in life. Define yourself by understanding that you’re a 10.