Why our Experiences are the Most Important Part of Life

Sharing experiences with other human beings is the part of life that has the biggest impact on us and brings us the most joy. Stop and think about that for a second.

Father son

Name something, anything that has more impact on your life or brings you more joy than to share an experience with someone else. (Let me know in the comments below if you come up with one.)

Sharing experiences together is one of the things that makes us human. It’s part of our nature. As a matter of fact, we start to degrade as a person when we aren’t sharing life and its experiences with others.

Do you remember Tom Hanks’ character in Cast Away? To help him cope with the loneliness, he created Wilson out of a volleyball. The only thing he wanted more than being rescued was to be with someone else. As humans we are wired to be with others.

We want to share our lives with others and we want to have someone witness our lives. Ultimately, we look for one primary witness. And typically that primary witness comes in the form of our spouse.

When Taryn and I discussed this concept the first time, she kept calling the “primary witness” the “optimal witness”. In our craziness, that phrase evolved into “optimal, primary witness”, then into “Optimus primary witness”. Now we just go with “Optimus Prime”.

Taryn is my Optimus Prime. She doesn’t transform, but she is the person I most want to share life and its experiences with. My hope is you find that same person in your spouse.

The strongest and deepest relationships are the ones where the most experiences are shared.

  • If you want to build more connection with your spouse, share experiences.
  • If you want to become closer with your spouse, share more experiences.
  • If you want to strengthen your relationship, share more experiences.

If you want your spouse to be your primary witness (or your Optimus Prime), your spouse has to be the one you share the most experiences with.

Assuming you want your strongest and deepest relationship to be with your spouse, assuming that you want your spouse to be your primary witness (or Optimus Prime), the equation is simple. Spend more time with and share more experiences with your spouse.


Give everyone some ideas. Share your favorite experiences in the comments section below.

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2 thoughts on “Why our Experiences are the Most Important Part of Life

  1. Building a stronger relationship is one of my top goals this year. This post was enlightening, a “why didn’t I think of that” type of moment.