We have a saying around our house that we use whenever one of us says something that is not-so-nice to someone else. Those not-so-nice comments don’t happen that often, but when they do, they sting. And, boy, it does not feel good.
Usually they come in the heat of the moment when tempers are hot. We know we need to step away, but it feels so good to say something to put the other person down. When one of us is on the receiving end of one of those comments we simply reply with our saying – “Do you feel better about yourself now?”
We’ve all done it. You catch yourself thinking something negative about someone else. Or worse, you say it aloud. What does this accomplish? One thing. It makes you feel better than them. Sound right?
The Free Dictionary defines “put down” as:
a. To criticize
b. To belittle; disparage
c. To humiliate
Why do we do this? Because we want to be better than others. And we are insecure with ourselves. By saying something negative, we put that person below us and raise ourselves up all at the same time.
To some degree, this is an innate characteristic. Think about years ago and the concept of “survival of the fittest”. If we aren’t the best, we don’t survive. But that was then, and this is now.
We will be better than that when we realize that we grow bigger and better when we lift others up, not put them down. We rise by lifting others.
Today, build someone up. Share something with that person that will make them feel good. Be encouraging. Be kind. Be intentional.
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