You want to build a better connection in your marriage. You want more intimacy. You want a stronger marriage. Those are all great wants. The question is, will you do the work that it takes?
Building a connection in your marriage takes effort. It doesn’t just happen on its own. Most people know that. But most people don’t do anything about it. Life always seems to get in the way.
Between work, household chores, focusing on the kids, running the kids to everything on their schedules, there just isn’t time to work on the marriage. There isn’t time to work on maintaining and growing the connection between the two of you. So the marriage suffers.
The lack of connection usually expresses itself as a lack of communication, arguments about finances, lack of sex, etc.. But usually, those things are symptoms of a lack of connection vs. a cause of lack of connection.
Do you want to build a connection in your marriage? Then work on your marriage. That’s a lot easier said than done isn’t it? But that’s really the trick. The secret to a strong marriage isn’t really a secret. It’s that you make each other the priority.
You have to make time for each other and you have to put in the effort to make it happen. Remember when you were dating how you were willing and able to completely juggle your schedule to make the time to be together?
Yes. You have a billion more responsibilities now and you have a billion more distractions, but is your marriage any less important? If you want to start building a stronger connection in your marriage, start by spending more time together (alone and away from distractions).
Here are a few things to try to get started building a connection in your marriage:
- Force yourselves to talk to each other for 10 minutes in the morning. Waiting until the end of the day lowers the priority and runs into the time of day when you’re worn out. Spending 10 minutes before bed trying to figure out life’s complexities when you’re brain is all but turned off doesn’t work.
- Meet for lunch every week. This is one Taryn and I do just about every week. It has a huge impact on keeping us connected throughout the week. Even when even when life is taking over, it has a way of refocusing us. Give it a try. Spend that half hour or hour touching base with each other. Sitting together. Connecting.
- Set a weekly date night (and keep it). You can do whatever you want: dinner, a walk, even a trip to the grocery. Just spend an extended amount of time together. Do your best to spend time talking to each other. Need some ideas for what to talk about? Here are 50 questions you can ask each other.
- Go for a walk together after dinner. Take 10 or 15 minutes after dinner and walk together. The benefits of the exercise are tremendous, but you’ll also get to spend time together.
- Every few months take an overnight trip together – without the kids. Getting away from the normal hustle and bustle of life helps you to free up time and mental capacity to focus solely on each other. Whatever you choose to do, you get to spend it with the person that means the most to you.
Building a strong connection takes effort. Most of all it takes you making each other a priority and spending time together. You have to want to be together. You have to want to share life together. If you make your marriage a priority, the symptom will be a stronger connection.
What other ideas do you have for spending time together and building a stronger connection? Let us know in the comments section below.